I used someone for years because she was easy to reach and easier to discard. I was only kind when I wanted something, and cold the rest of the time. When she finally stopped answering and found someone else, it wasn't jealousy I felt, it was irritation at losing access. So I rewrote history for her. I told her I'd been broken. That I'd changed. That I loved her. And she believed me. By the time I found out she was pregnant by her partner, it didn't slow me down. I still convinced her to come over. Still persuaded her to leave him. I watched her make that call while I sat on the sofa. The next day I told her it had all been a mistake. That we shouldn't see each other again. Her life didn't recover after that. Mine barely noticed the pause. And the worst truth is part of me enjoyed having that much control.